Wednesday, November 25, 2020
FUNNY JOKES
- "It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa."
- "Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents."
- "Can February March? No, but April May!"
- "How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing ya!"
- "Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
- "What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream."
- "Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants."
- "I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy."
- "Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!"
- "When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent."
- "I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off."
- "What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar."
- "I don't play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I'm just doing it for kicks!"
- "Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels."
- "Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb."
- "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta."
- "Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island."
- "What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging."
- "What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam."
- "Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends."
- "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
- "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."
- "I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless."
- "How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!"
- "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"
- "Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize."
- "I've got a great joke about construction, but I'm still working on it."
- "I used to hate facial hair...but then it grew on me."
- "I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!"
- "I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since."
- "You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine."
- "What's brown and sticky? A stick."
- "Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent."
- "What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant."
- "What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk."
- "I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!"
- "Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!"
- "If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"
- "I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know."
https://www.countryliving.com/author/221968/Blair-Donovan/
Tuesday, November 24, 2020
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT....
A wise man learns by the mistakes of others,
a fool by his own.
Latin Proverb
a fool by his own.
Latin Proverb
Silence does not always mark wisdom.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge.
No man was ever wise by chance.
Seneca
Seneca
Not to know at large of things remote
From use, obscure and subtle, but to know
That which before us lies in daily life,
Is the prime wisdom.
John Milton
From use, obscure and subtle, but to know
That which before us lies in daily life,
Is the prime wisdom.
John Milton
By associating with wise people you will become wise yourself.
Menander
Menander
The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom,
in the heart.
William Hazlitt
in the heart.
William Hazlitt
Of all parts of wisdom the practice is the best.
John Tillotson
John Tillotson
The more a man knows, the more he forgives.
Catherine the Great
Catherine the Great
A loving heart is the truest wisdom.
Charles Dickens
Charles Dickens
One who understands much displays a greater simplicity of character than one who understands little.
Alexander Chase
Alexander Chase
How prone to doubt, how cautious are the wise!
Homer
Homer
On every thorn, delightful wisdom grows,
In every rill a sweet instruction flows.
Edward Young
In every rill a sweet instruction flows.
Edward Young
The man of wisdom is never of two minds;
the man of benevolence never worries;
the man of courage is never afraid.
Confucius
the man of benevolence never worries;
the man of courage is never afraid.
Confucius
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GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY LIVING ONE DAY AT A TIME;
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