Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Cats Jokes.

Need a giggle? Here is a silly collection of some of the cat jokes I could find on the internet. I hope you enjoy them.
  1. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
  2. What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.
  3. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
  4. What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
  5. Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he’s in a bad mewd.
  6. What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
  7. Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t? Your lap.
  8. Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!
  9. How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.
  10. How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
  11. What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.
  12. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
  13. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
  14. What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
  15. Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
  16. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
  17. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
  18. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
  19. What is a cat’s favourite song? Three Blind Mice.
  20. How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
  21. Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? For kitty littering.
  22. Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
  23. What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat? Hiss and Tell.
  24. What is a moggy’s favourite colour? Purrrrrrrple!
  25. What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.
  26. Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide? Because he’s always spotted.
  27. Cats are like potato chips.  You can never have just one.
  28. I got rid of my husband.  The cat was allergic.
  29. For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.
  30. I haz a joke about a cat… Just kitt’en  ;)
/So funny
This is hilarious!!!
I can't stop laughing

http://catnipsum.com

Here's a dozen of things never to apologize for:



1) Never apologize for acting on your instincts.
2) Never apologize for being passionate.
3) Never apologize for being smart.
4) Never apologize for demanding respect.
5) Never apologize for saying no.
6) Never apologize for not embracing someone else's agenda.
7) Never apologize for disagreeing.
8) Never apologize for your faith.
9) Never apologize for your own sense of creativity.
10) Never apologize for ordering dessert.
11) Never apologize for being funny.
12) Never apologize for living your truth.
THE SERENITY PRAYER

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY
TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE;
COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN;
AND WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

LIVING ONE DAY AT A TIME;
ENJOYING ONE MOMENT AT A TIME;
ACCEPTING HARDSHIPS AS THE PATHWAY TO PEACE;
TAKING, AS HE DID, THIS SINFUL WORLD
AS IT IS, NOT AS I WOULD HAVE IT;
TRUSTING THAT HE WILL MAKE ALL THINGS RIGHT
IF I SURRENDER TO HIS WILL;
THAT I MAY BE REASONABLY HAPPY IN THIS LIFE
AND SUPREMELY HAPPY WITH HIM
FOREVER IN THE NEXT.
AMEN.

--REINHOLD NIEBUHR