Monday, August 31, 2015
Sunday, August 30, 2015
A lesson we could all learn from.
How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Monday, August 24, 2015
Sunday, August 23, 2015
- Bom (ela disse), acho que vou trançar meus cabelos hoje.
Assim ela fez e teve um dia maravilhoso.
No dia seguinte ela acordou, olhou no espelho e viu que tinha somente dois fios de cabelo na cabeça...
- Hummm (ela disse), acho que vou repartir meu cabelo no meio hoje.
Assim ela fez e teve um dia magnífico.
No dia seguinte ela acordou, olhou no espelho e percebeu que tinha apenas um fio de cabelo na cabeça.
- Bem (ela disse), hoje vou amarrar meu cabelo como um rabo de cavalo.
Assim ela fez e teve um dia divertido.
No dia seguinte ela acordou, olhou no espelho e percebeu que não havia um único fio de cabelo na cabeça.
- Yeeesss... (ela exclamou), hoje não tenho que pentear meu cabelo.
ATITUDE É TUDO!
Seja mais humano e agradável com as pessoas.
Cada uma das pessoas com quem você convive está travando algum tipo de batalha.
Viva com simplicidade.
Fale com gentileza.
E, principalmente, não reclame!!!
Se preocupe em agradecer pelo que você é, e por tudo o que tem!
E deixe o restante com Deus. ..
As vezes reclamamos tanto, quando na verdade deveríamos agradecer!
O que é de fato significativo?
O filho que muitas vezes não limpa o quarto e fica vendo televisão, significa que...
está em casa!
A desordem que tenho que limpar depois de uma festa,
estivemos rodeados de familiares e amigos!
As roupas que estão apertadas,
tenho mais do que o suficiente para comer!
O trabalho que tenho em limpar a casa,
tenho uma casa!
As queixas que escuto acerca do governo,
tenho liberdade de expressão!
Não encontro estacionamento,
Os gritos das crianças,
O cansaço no final do dia,
tenho saúde e posso trabalhar!
O despertador que me acorda todas as manhãs,
Finalmente pela quantidade de mensagens que recebo,
tenho amigos pensando em mim!
Mude o seu jeito de ver as coisas e seja mais Feliz !!!
Agradeça pelo que você tem.
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Thursday, August 20, 2015
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which was sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
Monday, August 17, 2015
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Monday, August 10, 2015
Sunday, August 9, 2015
- FOR THE HERB CREAM CHEESE - 4 Ounces (1 Brick) Cream Cheese, Softened to room temperature
- 1/4 Cup Ranch Dressing (Yes, good old Hidden Valley)
- 2 TBS Dill (can use other spices... Thyme is excellent also)
- 3-4 Long Cucumbers. skinned and Slice into thirty 1 inch slices
- 15 Cherry Tomatoes, sliced in half
- Additional Sprinkle of Salt (to Taste, Careful, little goes a long way)
- Additional Sprinkle of Spice (same as used in Cream Cheese) for Garnish
- Additional Sprinkle of Paprika OR a Cajun Spice Mix (optional) for Garnish (and an extra kick if you use the Cajun Mix)
- First, Make up the HERB CREAM CHEESE, in a stand mixer, mix the softened Cream Cheese with the Ranch dressing and herbs. Mix until well combined. Spoon into a piping bag with a star tip.
- Prepare the Cucumber, remove peel, Using a fork, score the sides. Slice into 1 inch pieces. Using a melon Baller, remove a portion of the center of one side of the piece of cucumber, leaving a half moon crater.
- Pipe the Herb Cream Cheese into the crater. Enough to stick out of the top about 1/2 inch.
- Add a half Cherry Tomato partially buried into the Herb Cream Cheese
- Sprinkle additional salt, herbs and spice mix for additional color. Chill in the fridge until ready to serve.
- Serve Chilled and ENJOY!
Friday, August 7, 2015
box filled with photos and glassware.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
They must have been expecting her.
Thursday, August 6, 2015
• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Monday, August 3, 2015
Sunday, August 2, 2015
6 Ways to Lose Belly Fat Without Exercise In No Time - See more at: http://www.healthyfoodteam.com/6-ways-to-lose-belly-fat-without-exercise-in-no-time
4.Start Drinking Wine
- See more at: http://www.healthyfoodteam.com/6-ways-to-lose-belly-fat-without-exercise-in-no-time/#sthash.Q8ZDxMSj.dpuf
THE SERENITY PRAYER
GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY
LIVING ONE DAY AT A TIME;