Cats.....

• Two female cats are sitting on the fence passing the time of day when a really handsome tomcat walks by and winks at them.
  
  'Oh darling, did you see that one?' one of the felines opines. 'I wouldn't mind sharing a dead mouse with him.'
  'Oh, forget about him,' her friend tells her. 'I went out with him once, and all he did was talk about his operation.'
• A tomcat was heard running up and down the alley for hours. A neighbour called his owner and asked what was happening. The owner said, 'Well, I had him fixed today, and he's going around cancelling all his engagements.'

Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.

I’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man they love in a cat.

Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

What are cats? 1. Cats do what they want, when they want. 2. They rarely listen to you. 3. They’re totally unpredictable. 4. They whine when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play they want to be left alone. 6. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 7. They expect you to cater to their every whim. 8. They’re moody. 9. They leave their hair everywhere. 10. They drive you nuts. Conclusion: Cats are small women in fur coats.

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the thirdman was a chemist, the fourth was a government worker. To show off, the engineer called to his cat, ‘T-square, do your stuff.’ T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, ‘Spreadsheet, do your stuff.’ Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four equal piles of three cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, ‘Measure, do your stuff.’ Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten-ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the government worker and said, ‘What can your cat do?’The government worker called to his cat and said, ‘Coffee Break, do your stuff.’ Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, pooed on the paper, bit the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafeworking conditions, put in for Workers’ Compensation and went.

Chocolate Easter Eggs

Devil's Food Cake: Vintage Recipe

How To Make A Sore Throat Tea...

In a jar mix lemon slices, organic local honey and ginger. Refrigerate. Mixture will soon form a "jelly". Add a spoonful of the jelly into a mug and add boiling water and VOILA!

For more info on how to make and use, click the link above. — com Arona Marie, Nancy Tornillo-Harris, Kris Kenney Boggs e Jennifer Boudreau Garza.http://www.herbsandoilsworld.com/how-to-make-a-winter-sore-throat-tea/

Old Fashion sayings, true to this day...

„When one door closes another door opens.“


 “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.”

“The mind is like a parachute – it doesn’t work until it’s open.”

“Education is your passport to life. Once you’ve got it no one can take it away from you.”

“You are not moving until that plate is empty.”

“If a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing well.”

“Don’t let your eyes be bigger than your stomach.”

“Prepare yourself, the opportunity will come.”

“While I breathe, I hope.”

“Don’t worry about being popular, worry about being good. Popular comes and goes, good always works.”

“Always look forward, never backwards.”

“Marry for money and you’ll earn it.”

“Banks will happily loan you an umbrella when the sun shines. As soon as it rains they ask for it back.”

“Every day you can get out of the bed is a great day.”

“You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.”

“All the flowers of tomorrow are the seeds of today.”

“What’s for you, won’t pass you.”

“Prevention is better than cure.”

“Always be yourself – and always take a safety pin when you go out.”

“There is no one from whom you cannot learn something.”

“Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. For if you trouble trouble, trouble will trouble you.”

“Listen to all but follow your own instincts.”

“It takes al sorts to make a world.”

“Treat people the way you would like to be treated yourself.”

“Remember your manners.”

“What you want to do, you can do.”

“We’ll sit down when we get all the little jobs done.”

“If you have a talent, never hide it.”

“Life is for living, not for throwing away.”

“You can walk a thousand miles but you can only take one step at a time.”

“If you are bored, it’s an insult to yourself.”

“Know your own country first before you go off travelling to other countries.”

“A good start is half the work.”

“Watch your language because it’s a precision tool: it’s a scalpel, not an axe.” 

(From the book "My mother always used to say" by Valerie Bowe)

Braided easy egg bread recipe

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 30 minutes

Total Time: 4 hours

Yield: 1 loaf

Braided easy egg bread - Pillow-y soft, enriched with both eggs and butter, slightly sweet. Great for breakfast with butter and jam or accompanying a comforting meal at dinner time.

Ingredients

• 4 cups (480 grams) bread flour (I used Pillsbury)
• 2 tsp active dry yeast (I used Red Star)
• 2 tbsp sugar
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/2 cup milk
• 2 tbsp butter, diced
• 2 tsp salt
• 2 eggs + 3 egg whites, lightly beaten
Topping
• 1 egg yolked mixed with few drops of milk
• *more flour for dusting the working area

Instructions

1. In a mixing bowl add 2 cups of flour, sugar and yeast. Whisk to combine.
2. In a small saucepan, add the water, milk and butter and heat until lukewarm (~ 110F). Pour over the flour mixture, stir to combine and let it rest for about 10 minutes until the sticky dough starts to rise and gets a spongy texture.
3. Add the lightly beaten eggs mixed with the salt and with the dough hook on, start kneading, slowly adding the remaining 2 cups of bread flour.
4. When all the flour is added, increase the mixer speed to medium-high and let it knead for about 3-4 minutes or until the dough cleans itself from the sides of the bowl.
5. If it's still sticky add just a little bit more flour. The dough should be soft and elastic and just a wee bit sticky to your fingers.
6. With the help of a spatula, place the dough into a buttered bowl, cover with plastic wrap and let it rise at room temperature until doubled in volume. It should take little over an hour.
7. When the dough is risen, place it on a lightly floured surface, divide into 3 and roll each piece into a 15 inch rope.
8. Braid the ropes, pinching the ends and tuck them under to seal.
9. Gently place the braid on a cookie sheet. If it's easier for you, you can braid it directly on the cookie sheet.
10. Cover with plastic wrap again and let it rest for the second time for about half an hour.
11. Meanwhile, heat the oven to 400F.
12. Just before placing the bread into the oven, brush it with the egg was (1 egg yolked mixed with few drops of milk).
13. Bake for 30 minutes or until nice and golden.
14. Let it cool before slicing.

Notes

Recipe from Red Star Yeast

http://www.roxanashomebaking.com/braided-easy-egg-bread-recipe/