Cats.....

• Two female cats are sitting on the fence passing the time of day when a really handsome tomcat walks by and winks at them.
  
  'Oh darling, did you see that one?' one of the felines opines. 'I wouldn't mind sharing a dead mouse with him.'
  'Oh, forget about him,' her friend tells her. 'I went out with him once, and all he did was talk about his operation.'
• A tomcat was heard running up and down the alley for hours. A neighbour called his owner and asked what was happening. The owner said, 'Well, I had him fixed today, and he's going around cancelling all his engagements.'