Friday, October 8, 2021

Attitude Quotes

 

  1. If only you ran like your mouth. You’d be in great shape.
  2. You’re such a treasure, why hasn’t someone buried you?
  3. You know, you have one really annoying habit. Breathing.
  4. If I was meant to be controlled, I’d have come with a remote.
  5. I have plenty of terrible ideas. Just let me know if you need any.
  6. I wasn’t being rude. I just said what everyone else was thinking.
  7. May your earholes turn into assholes and shit on your shoulders.
  8. Oh, darling, you should really go out and buy yourself a personality.
  9. I try to see the best in everyone but you’re making it really difficult.
  10. You think you know it all but clearly you don’t know when to shut up.
  11. I’m really sorry if my sense of humour offended your total lack of one.
  12. WIFE to HUSBAND: Sure, I make terrible choices. One of them was you.
  13. I encouraged my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a big hug.
  14. I’m not one for revenge but I might arrange for you to have an accident.
  15. Putting on your makeup every day must be hard, with you having two faces.
  16. They call it a selfie because narcissist is too hard for most people to spell.
  17. I can’t help but wonder why someone hasn’t hit you in the face with a shovel yet.
  18. When you spun the wheel of attitude this morning, clearly it landed on bitch again.
  19. I’d love to help you but I don’t even play an active role in my own life anymore.
  20. Roses are red; violets are blue; I’ve got five fingers; the middle one’s for you.

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THE SERENITY PRAYER

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY
TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE;
COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN;
AND WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

LIVING ONE DAY AT A TIME;
ENJOYING ONE MOMENT AT A TIME;
ACCEPTING HARDSHIPS AS THE PATHWAY TO PEACE;
TAKING, AS HE DID, THIS SINFUL WORLD
AS IT IS, NOT AS I WOULD HAVE IT;
TRUSTING THAT HE WILL MAKE ALL THINGS RIGHT
IF I SURRENDER TO HIS WILL;
THAT I MAY BE REASONABLY HAPPY IN THIS LIFE
AND SUPREMELY HAPPY WITH HIM
FOREVER IN THE NEXT.
AMEN.

--REINHOLD NIEBUHR