A
wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her
husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more
butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN
THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE
BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER
listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget
to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'
The wife stared at him. 'What in the
world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'
The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when
I'm driving.'
Two elderly women were eating
breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about
Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a
suppository in your left ear? " Mabel answered, "I have a
suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said,
"Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing
aid is."
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