Quatro Patinhas NGO presents: Priceless Pets

Your best friend....

DINNER FORK DOOR LOCK

A car full of Irish nuns

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"

Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?

“To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

“Watch carefully the magic that occurs when you give a person just enough comfort to be themselves.” ─ Atticus

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.” ― Charles Dickens

“Happiness can not be prescribed, postponed or preserved. Relish its unpredictability. Cherish its exclusivity. Accept its brevity. But above all savour its delicious exquisiteness. Do not let it go cold!” ― Dimity Powell

A little old lady went to buy cat food.

A little old lady went to buy cat food. She picked up three cans, but was told by the clerk, "I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat. Too many seniors are buying cat foot to eat. Management wants proof that you are buying this for your cat." So the lady went home, brought in her cat and was sold the cat food. . . . The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food and was again told she couldn't buy them without proof. So the lady went home, brought in her dog and was sold the dog food. . . .One day later, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid and asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there." The lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box, quickly pulled it out and exclaimed, "That smells like crap." . . . The lady replied, "It is. I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper." 

https://www.facebook.com

A book a day......

http://escapeinsidethepages.wordpress.com/

Fashion vs Style

ATITUDE É TUDO!

Uma mulher acordou uma manhã após a quimioterapia, olhou no espelho e percebeu que tinha somente três fios de cabelo na cabeça.
- Bom (ela disse), acho que vou trançar meus cabelos hoje.
Assim ela fez e teve um dia maravilhoso.
No dia seguinte ela acordou, olhou no espelho e viu que tinha somente dois fios de cabelo na cabeça...
- Hummm (ela disse), acho que vou repartir meu cabelo no meio hoje.
Assim ela fez e teve um dia magnífico.
No dia seguinte ela acordou, olhou no espelho e percebeu que tinha apenas um fio de cabelo na cabeça.
- Bem (ela disse), hoje vou amarrar meu cabelo como um rabo de cavalo.
Assim ela fez e teve um dia divertido.
No dia seguinte ela acordou, olhou no espelho e percebeu que não havia um único fio de cabelo na cabeça.
- Yeeesss... (ela exclamou), hoje não tenho que pentear meu cabelo.
ATITUDE É TUDO!
Seja mais humano e agradável com as pessoas.
Cada uma das pessoas com quem você convive está travando algum tipo de batalha.
Viva com simplicidade.
Ame generosamente.
Cuide-se intensamente.
Fale com gentileza.
E, principalmente, não reclame!!!
Se preocupe em agradecer pelo que você é, e por tudo o que tem!
E deixe o restante com Deus. ..
As vezes reclamamos tanto, quando na verdade deveríamos agradecer!
O que é de fato significativo?
O filho que muitas vezes não limpa o quarto e fica vendo televisão, significa que...
está em casa!
A desordem que tenho que limpar depois de uma festa,
significa que...
estivemos rodeados de familiares e amigos!
As roupas que estão apertadas,
significa que...
tenho mais do que o suficiente para comer!
O trabalho que tenho em limpar a casa,
significa que...
tenho uma casa!
As queixas que escuto acerca do governo,
significa que...
tenho liberdade de expressão!
Não encontro estacionamento,
significa que...
tenho carro!
Os gritos das crianças,
significa que....
posso ouvir!
O cansaço no final do dia,
significa que...
tenho saúde e posso trabalhar!
O despertador que me acorda todas as manhãs,
significa que...
estou vivo!
Finalmente pela quantidade de mensagens que recebo,
significa que...
tenho amigos pensando em mim!
Mude o seu jeito de ver as coisas e seja mais Feliz !!!
Agradeça pelo que você tem.
https://www.facebook.com/tadeu

Taking A Nap With Loving Female Cheetah - Cat Cuddles & falls Asleep In ...

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
______________________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which was sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
______________________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
______________________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________________________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

https://www.facebook.com/andre.joubert.779?fref=photo

Best 60s Dancer Boy Ever - The Nitty Gritty

This Story Of A Poor Boy Who Is Rejected By His Rich Love Has The PERFECT Ending

 

A poor boy was in love with a rich man’s daughter.

One day, the boy proposed to her, and the girl said, “Your monthly salary is equivalent to my daily expenses. How can I be involved with you?”

She went on, “How could you have thought of that? I can never love you, so forget about me and get engaged to someone else of your level.”

But for some reason, the boy could not forget her so easily.

Roughly 10 years later, they stumbled into each other in a shopping mall.

She immediately said, “Hey, you! How are you? Now I’m married, and do you know how much my husband’s salary is? $15,700 per month! Can you beat that? And he is also very smart.”

The man’s eyes became wet with tears on hearing those words from the woman he used to care for.

A few seconds later, her husband came around. But before the lady could say a word, her husband saw the man and said, “Sir, you’re here! And you’ve met my wife!”

Then he turned to his wife,”This is my boss who runs the $100 million project I’ve been working on!

“And if you want to know something strange about him, he once loved a lady but he couldn’t win her heart. That’s why he has remained unmarried since.”

He went on, “How lucky would that lady have been if she had married this man right here?”

The lady looked in total shock but couldn’t utter a word.

Final Words: Life is very short and just like a mirror. You can only see as much as it reflects. So don’t be too arrogant or proud by looking down on others because of their current situations. Things can change with time, just like the weather. Don’t underestimate anyone, because everyone has a different story!

By Phil Mutz

http://date.littlethings.com/

Just a dog...

http://www.lolathepitty.com/black-white-sunday-just-a-dog/

"Oh Mary" live at Le Petit Theatre

My Crosstitch Projects

Soda Pop

Cucumber Bites with Herb Cream Cheese and Cherry Tomatoes

Ingredients

• FOR THE HERB CREAM CHEESE - 4 Ounces (1 Brick) Cream Cheese, Softened to room temperature
• 1/4 Cup Ranch Dressing (Yes, good old Hidden Valley)
• 2 TBS Dill (can use other spices... Thyme is excellent also)
• 3-4 Long Cucumbers. skinned and Slice into thirty 1 inch slices
• 15 Cherry Tomatoes, sliced in half
• Additional Sprinkle of Salt (to Taste, Careful, little goes a long way)
• Additional Sprinkle of Spice (same as used in Cream Cheese) for Garnish
• Additional Sprinkle of Paprika OR a Cajun Spice Mix (optional) for Garnish (and an extra kick if you use the Cajun Mix)

Cooking Directions

1. First, Make up the HERB CREAM CHEESE, in a stand mixer, mix the softened Cream Cheese with the Ranch dressing and herbs. Mix until well combined. Spoon into a piping bag with a star tip.
2. Prepare the Cucumber, remove peel, Using a fork, score the sides. Slice into 1 inch pieces. Using a melon Baller, remove a portion of the center of one side of the piece of cucumber, leaving a half moon crater.
3. Pipe the Herb Cream Cheese into the crater. Enough to stick out of the top about 1/2 inch.
4. Add a half Cherry Tomato partially buried into the Herb Cream Cheese
5. Sprinkle additional salt, herbs and spice mix for additional color. Chill in the fridge until ready to serve.
6. Serve Chilled and ENJOY!

http://erecipecards.blogspot.co.uk/

A NYC Taxi driver wrote:

I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but inst

ead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard
box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'

'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive
through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..

'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice..'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired.Let's go now'.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.

'Nothing,' I said

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.She held onto me tightly.

'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut.It was the sound of the closing of a life..

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk.What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.....Wishing you all a wonderful weekend...

Pudim Fácil de Coco

Ingredientes:

1. 1 lata de leite condensado
2. a mesma medida de leite normal
3. 5 colheres de sopa de côco ralado
4. 4 ovos

Preparação:

1. Misturar o leite condensado com as gemas.
2. De seguida juntar o côco e o leite normal e misturar tudo muito bem.
3. Bater as claras em castelo e misturar.
4. Caramelizar uma forma (não pode ser muito pequena) de pudim (com açucar ou caramelo já pronto) e levar a cozer em banho maria cerca de 40 minutos a 1 hora (depende do forno).                                                      http://www.1001receitasfaceis.net/

A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:

• Officer: May I see your driver's license?

• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.

• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?

• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?

• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.

• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?

• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:

• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?

• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?

• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.

• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.

• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.

• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.

• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.

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Famous Quote

Be Attractive to Wealth

Tips for Timeless Fashion

Pretty verses Elegance

Elegance..

Healthy Living

http://jeanetteshealthyliving.com

Picture of LOVE...

http://rockartist.hubpages.com

He Who Gives

www.etsy.com

Just an idiot

www.pinterest.com

Doxie Love

https://instagram.com/p/3YFJCbGxjZ/

Thomas O'Malley Flufferpants gives snuggles to Murkin

Pretty Craft Ideas

http://tudojuntoemisturadopaty.blogspot.co.uk/

Pretty Pin Cushion

http://postila.ru/

Zesty Lime Shrimp and Avocado Salad

• 1/4 cup chopped red onion
• 2 limes, juice of
• 1 tsp olive oil
• 1/4 tsp kosher salt, black pepper to taste
• 1 lb jumbo cooked, peeled shrimp, chopped*
• 1 medium tomato, diced
• 1 medium hass avocado, diced (about 5 oz)
• 1 jalapeno, seeds removed, diced fine
• 1 tbsp chopped cilantro

Directions:

In a small bowl combine red onion, lime juice, olive oil, salt and pepper. Let them marinate at least 5 minutes to mellow the flavor of the onion.
In a large bowl combine chopped shrimp, avocado, tomato, jalapeño. Combine all the ingredients together, add cilantro and gently toss. Adjust salt and pepper to taste.
http://www.skinnytaste.com/

Crafts

Delft Crosstitch Pattern

http://manualidades.facilisimo.com/foros/punto-de-cruz/solo-patrones-punto-cruz_401158_1623.html#p8801439

Mommy and baby kittens

http://weruletheinternet.com/2012/01/12/an-incredibly-cute-gallery-of-kittens-and-their-mothers/

How To Eat Right For Your Blood Type

How does blood type diet work?

D’Adamo says that ever individual has its own way of responding to foods, which is connected to the blood type. According him, lectins, or carbohydrate-binding proteins, attach to different blood type in a different way. The reaction between lectins and blood types can sometimes harm health.

The doctor explained certain changes and side-effects in his book, but his main goal was to analyze which food are suitable for each blood type, and of course, the amount in which they should be consumed.

Four basic blood types

1. Blood type A

20,000 years ago, in the developing stage of agriculture, this blood type went through the change of a lifetime. People with this blood type should be vegetarians, and they are also referred to as “the agrarians.”

People with blood type A should avoid meat, and eat more fruits, veggies, beans, legumes and whole grains.

In other words, organic and fresh foods are the real deal for these people, because they have a sensitive immunity.

2. Blood type O

Dating since 30,000 years ago, this is the oldest blood type. Unlike other blood types, it requires protein-high nutrition. These are “the hunters.”

People with blood type 0 should eat protein-loaded foods, including lean meat, poultry, fish and vegetables. They should avoid grains, beans and dairy products. To treat stomach ache and other health problems these individuals should take different supplements.

3. Blood type B

“The nomads” can adapt to dairy products and have the most versatile digestive tract. This blood type appeared 10,000 years ago.

People with blood type B should avoid corn, wheat, buckwheat, lentils, tomatoes, peanuts, and sesame seeds. According to D’Adamo, chicken can also cause some health problems. He recommends consuming large amounts of vegetables, eggs, certain meat and low-fat dairy products.

4. Blood type AB

These are “the enigmas,” because this blood type is only 1,000 years ago. As this is the most recently developed type, the diet varies between blood type A and B.

People with blood type AB should eat tofu, seafood, dairy, and green vegetables. D’Adamo says that these people struggle with heartburn, and they should avoid caffeine, alcohol, and smoked meat.

If you still have not determined your blood type, ask your doctor.

Food recommendations for each blood type:

Blood type A

Foods to eat: vegetables, whole grains (not pasta or bread), berries, figs, avocados, apples and peaches. Nuts and soy are the only proteins allowed.

Foods to avoid: any kind of meat, dairy products, and kidney beans.

Blood type O

Foods to eat: red meat, poultry (chicken, turkey), seafood and other proteins. Speaking of veggies, eat more kale, spinach, kelp and broccoli.

Foods to avoid: legumes (beans, peanuts, lentils), dairy products, eggs, wheat and grains.

Blood type B

Foods to eat: fruits, green vegetables, certain grains, red meat, fish, turkey.

Foods to avoid: seeds, chicken, peanuts, lentils, corn, and buckwheat.

Blood type AB

Foods to eat: turkey, tofu, seafood and fish, vegetables, beans, watermelon, figs, apples, bananas, legumes.

Foods to avoid: buckwheat, corn, red meat (causes stomach acid). Be careful when consuming alcohol and caffeine.

Organic food is great for all blood types. Ask a nutritionist to help you improve your diet. Food groups are strict, and you do not have to worry about excess calories. Learn more about the positive and negative effect of the food you eat. If the members of your family have different diet, the Atkins diet is the real solution for you as it avoids entire food groups.

Nutrition for one blood type fits one person, but it is unsuitable for other. To understand the whole concept, read Dr Adamo’s book. Ask your doctor or nutritionist for an advice, and introduce some healthy changes into your diet. Be careful if you are dealing with a special health condition.

Source: www.healthyfoodhouse.com

Other included sources linked in Healthy Food House’s article: Natural Cures Not Medicine – Original Article Source

http://www.healthandhealthyliving.com/

Dead Men Don't Tour - Rodriguez in South Africa 1998 (TV Documentary)

Sewing Craft.

http://www.artecomquiane.com/2014/10/20-moldes-que-vc-precisa-ter.html

Sewing Cushions

http://judith-for-joy.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2013-05-28T10:51:00%2B02:00&max-results=7

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/61/47/eb/6147ebe47ba898ad4e3d5e89a082405a.jpg

Tea Time Cushions

http://girlyme.tumblr.com/post/16693452103

http://sandrinhapontocruz.blogspot.it/search/label/Almofadas

MOSBOLLETJIES

1 kg koekmeel
10 ml sout
100 g (125 ml) suiker
10 g (1 sakkie) kitssuurdeeg
30 ml heel anys
100 g botter
250 ml wit druiwesap
125 ml louwarm melk
250 ml lou water
30 ml suiker gemeng met 30 ml lou water (suiker stroop vir borsel na die bak)

Metode:
1. Sif meel en sout saam. 
2. Voeg suiker, gis en anys by. Roer goed.
3. Verhit botter en druiwesap in ‘n kastrol totdat botter gesmelt het. Moenie kook nie. 
4. Voeg by droë bestanddele saam met die melk en water, en meng dan ‘n sagte deeg te vorm.
5. Keer deeg uit op ‘n meelbestrooide oppervlak. 
6. Knie vir 5-10 minute, of totdat die deeg sag en elasties is. 
7. Plaas in ‘n groot geoliede bak, bedek en laat rys op ‘n warm plek vir sowat 30 minute, of verdubbel in grootte.
8. Plaas deeg op ‘n meelbestrooide oppervlak en knie tot glad. 
9. Vorm in balle. 
10. Pak die balle dig in 2 panne van ongeveer 22 cm elk. 
11. Bedek en laat rys vir sowat 30-45 minute.
12. Bak in ‘n voorverhitte oond by 180 C vir 35-40 minute.

**Keer uit op draadrakke, dan onmiddellik borsel met stroop.♫

http://kreatiewekosidees.com/

How to get red lips

http://citizensofbeauty.com/beauty-reviews/makeup-tips/how-to-get-red-lips/

Cup Equivalents

How to fix a small dent