Sunday, May 8, 2022

Homes - He who postpones the hour of living is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses.











 

Friday, May 6, 2022

Enough


 

She lived happily after.


 

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

 

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness.

Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway.

You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new p*nis.

They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”

The man perks up. So, the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want.

But understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife.

If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out.

If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed.

It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.” The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?” “Yes I have,” says the man.

“And has she helped you make a decision?” “Yes” says the man. “What is your decision?” asks the doctor.

“We’re getting granite kitchen bench tops.”

 




THE SERENITY PRAYER

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY
TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE;
COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN;
AND WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

LIVING ONE DAY AT A TIME;
ENJOYING ONE MOMENT AT A TIME;
ACCEPTING HARDSHIPS AS THE PATHWAY TO PEACE;
TAKING, AS HE DID, THIS SINFUL WORLD
AS IT IS, NOT AS I WOULD HAVE IT;
TRUSTING THAT HE WILL MAKE ALL THINGS RIGHT
IF I SURRENDER TO HIS WILL;
THAT I MAY BE REASONABLY HAPPY IN THIS LIFE
AND SUPREMELY HAPPY WITH HIM
FOREVER IN THE NEXT.
AMEN.

--REINHOLD NIEBUHR