-Lawyers should never ask a Texas grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

                                                     

In a trial, a Texas small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.....🤠

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One Morning she woke up different.

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9 Important Facts

Life Changing Affirmations

Smile for the day

Will an apple a day keep the doctor away?

 "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." Could the common apple honestly help a person to maintain perfect health?

The first printed mention of this saying can be found in the February 1866 issue of the publication "Notes and Queries." The publication printed the proverb like this: "Eat an apple on going to bed, and you'll keep the doctor from earning his bread." Nearly 150 years later, variations of this adage are still quoted. It's unlikely that the saying would have maintained such popularity if there wasn't some truth to it, right? With that in mind, let's consider some of the apple's components and their effect on our health:

·         Pectin -- Pectin is a form of soluble fiber than lowers both blood pressure and glucose levels. It can also lower the levels of LDL, or "bad" cholesterol in the body. Pectin, like other forms of fiber, helps maintain the health of the digestive system. Apples are an excellent source of pectin.

·         Boron -- A nutrient found in abundance in apples, boron supports strong bones and a healthy brain.

·         Quercetin -- A flavonoid, this nutrient shows promise for reducing the risk of various cancers, including cancers in the lungs and breast. It may also reduce free radical damage. Free radicals develop when atoms in the body's cells have unpaired electrons, which can lead to damage to different parts of the cell, including DNA. Quercetin may neutralize free radical damage, which has been implicated in a variety of age-related health problems, including Alzheimer's disease.

·         Vitamin C -- Vitamin C boosts immunity, which helps maintain overall health.

·         Phytonutrients -- Apples are rich in a variety of phytonutrients, including vitamins A and E and beta carotene. These compounds fight damage from free radicals and can have a profound affect on health, including reducing the risk of heart disease, diabetes and asthma.

Apples also act as a toothbrush, cleaning teeth and killing bacteria in the mouth, which may reduce the risk of tooth decay. They're also low in calorie density, one of the trademarks of a healthy food. When a food is low in calorie density you can eat good size portions of the food for relatively few calories. In addition, apples are affordable and readily available.

Are apples the secret to a long life?

An apple a day can reduce the risk of diabetes, high blood pressure and many types of cancer. However, would you be able to avoid the doctor entirely just by eating a bunch of the forbidden fruit? Not likely. Various studies show health benefits when participants eat an apple between three and five times a week, but all ailments cannot be cured by diet alone.

Are other fruits just as good for you as apples? Sure. All fruits are loaded with nutrients that are building blocks to good health. Bananas are loaded with potassium, which is important for a healthy heart and proper muscle function. Blackberries are loaded with fibre, and strawberries contain vitamin C and fibre.

Like cranberries, blueberries help prevent and fight urinary tract infections. They are also a bit tastier than cranberries, which most people only enjoy when combined with plenty of added sugar. Apricots, fresh or dried, are high in beta-carotene.

When choosing drinks, apple juice barely makes the top 10. Pomegranate juice, wine and purple grape juice are high in antioxidants, with apple juice in the tenth spot, right behind tea. One of the things that makes apples so incredibly healthy is the amount of fibre they contain, but that has lost during juicing.

If all fruits are nutritional powerhouses, why are apples the only one to be included in the folklore? At the time the adage emerged, apples were easy to grow (and still are). Once harvested, they could remain in storage for nearly a year. Recent studies have shown that, unlike many fruits and vegetables, the nutritional benefits of apples remain relatively stable as long as 200 days after harvest.

While an apple a day will go a long way toward keeping the doctor away, most nutritionists recommend a varied diet. In addition to apples, fill your shopping cart with citrus fruits, tropical treats like mangos, and a variety of berries, which pack a nutritional punch. Eating several servings of a varied selection of fruits each day is truly the best way to keep the doctor away.

health.howstuffworks.com

Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

Ingredients

·         2 cupsunbleached all-purpose flour(10oz, 283g)

·         3/4 teaspoonbaking soda

·         1/2 teaspoonbaking powder

·         1/2 teaspoonsalt

·         1 teaspooncinnamon

·         1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

·         1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

·         2 large eggs beaten lightly

·         3/4 cup granulated sugar (5.25oz, 149g)

·         1 ½ cups very ripe bananas soft, darkly speckled, mashed well (13.65oz, 387g) (about 3 medium)

·         1/4 cup plain yogurt (2oz, 57g)

·         6 tablespoons unsalted butter melted and cooled (3oz, 85g)

·         1 teaspoon vanilla

·         6-8 ounces milk chocolate or semisweet chocolate chips (170-228g)

·         1-2 ounces chocolate chips for sprinkling on top optional (28-57g)

Instructions

1.            Preheat oven to 350F. Place rack in middle of oven.

2.    Prepare a 9 by 5 inch loaf pan by buttering and flouring the base only if it is non-stick. Butter also the sides if it is not a non-stick. Non-stick baking spray can be used instead of butter and flour.

3.    In a small mixing bowl, combine the flour, soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves. Whisk to combine. Reserve 1/2 tablespoon flour and mix with 6-8 ounces chocolate chips.

4.    In a large mixing bowl, whisk together eggs and sugar. Add mashed bananas, yogurt, melted butter, and vanilla. Whisk until thoroughly combined.

5.    Gently fold the wet and dry ingredients together, just until the dry ingredients are moistened. The batter should be thick and chunky, but without any streaks of unincorporated flour.

6.    Gently fold in the chocolate chips that have been tossed with flour.

7.    Pour batter into prepared loaf pan and smooth. Sprinkle on additional chocolate chips if desired.

8.    Bake until golden brown and a toothpick inserted into the centre of the cake comes out clean, about 55 minutes.

9.    Remove from oven and cool on a rack for 5 minutes. Remove loaf from pan and let cool on rack. (If you did not butter and flour the sides of the pan, you may need to run a sharp knife in between the sides pan and the loaf.)

10. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Notes

For a no-yogurt Banana Bread:

*Replace yogurt with 2 additional tablespoons of butter, bringing the butter to 8 tablespoons (4oz, 113g).

*Replace baking soda with 1-teaspoon baking powder.

Chocolate Chip Banana Bread freezes very well. After cooling completely, either wrap the whole loaf or individual slices tightly in plastic wrap. Let the whole loaf thaw to room temperature. Individual slices can be microwaved for about 30 seconds directly from the freezer.

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