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DINNER FORK DOOR LOCK

A car full of Irish nuns

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"

Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?

“To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

“Watch carefully the magic that occurs when you give a person just enough comfort to be themselves.” ─ Atticus

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.” ― Charles Dickens

“Happiness can not be prescribed, postponed or preserved. Relish its unpredictability. Cherish its exclusivity. Accept its brevity. But above all savour its delicious exquisiteness. Do not let it go cold!” ― Dimity Powell