Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Cats Jokes.
Need a giggle? Here is a silly collection of some of the cat jokes I could find on the internet. I hope you enjoy them.
http://catnipsum.com
- Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
- What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.
- Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
- What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
- Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he’s in a bad mewd.
- What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
- Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t? Your lap.
- Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!
- How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.
- How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
- What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.
- What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
- If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
- What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
- Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
- Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
- What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
- What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
- What is a cat’s favourite song? Three Blind Mice.
- How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
- Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? For kitty littering.
- Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
- What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat? Hiss and Tell.
- What is a moggy’s favourite colour? Purrrrrrrple!
- What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.
- Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide? Because he’s always spotted.
- Cats are like potato chips. You can never have just one.
- I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
- For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.
- I haz a joke about a cat… Just kitt’en
http://catnipsum.com
Here's a dozen of things never to apologize for:
1) Never apologize for acting on your instincts.
2) Never apologize for being passionate.
3) Never apologize for being smart.
4) Never apologize for demanding respect.
5) Never apologize for saying no.
6) Never apologize for not embracing someone else's agenda.
7) Never apologize for disagreeing.
8) Never apologize for your faith.
9) Never apologize for your own sense of creativity.
10) Never apologize for ordering dessert.
11) Never apologize for being funny.
12) Never apologize for living your truth.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
The Suitcase
A man died, when he realized it, he saw God coming closer with a suitcase in his hand.
- God said: Alright son it’s time to go.
- surprised the man responded: Now? So soon? I had a lot of plans...
- I'm sorry but it’s time to go.
- What do you have in that suitcase? the man asked.
- God answered: Your belongings.
- My belongings? you mean my things, my clothes, my money?
-God answered: Those things were not yours they belonged to the earth.
- Is it my memories? the man asked.
-God answered: those never belonged to you they belonged to Time
- Is it my talents?
-God answered: those were never yours they belonged to the circumstances.
- Is it my friends and family?
-God answered: I'm sorry they were never yours they belonged to the path.
- Is it my wife and son?
- God answered: They were never yours they belonged to your heart.
- Is it my body?
- God answered: that was never yours it belonged to the dust.
-Is it my soul?
God answered: No that is mine.
Full of fear, the man took the suitcase from God and opened it just to find out the suitcase was empty.
- With a tear coming down his cheek the man said: I never had anything???
-God answered: that is correct, every moment you lived were only yours.
Life is just a moment. a moment that belongs to you. For this reason enjoy this time while you have it.
Don't let anything that you think you own stop you from doing so.
-Live Now
-Live your life
- Don't forget to be happy, that is the only thing that matters.
- Material things and everything else that you fought for stay here.
-YOU CAN'T TAKE ANYTHING
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
