1. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that you’ve got it made.
2. I intend to live forever or die trying.
3. I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
4. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
5. Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
6. No man goes before his time, unless the boss leaves early.
7. Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
8. I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
9. Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
10. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
11. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
12. There’s one way to find out if a man is honest, ask him. If he says, yes, you know he’s a crook.
13. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
14. Why should I care about posterity? What’s posterity ever done for me?
15. Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
